Parting Stones - Not Your 1970s Pet Rock

ICYMI: A Snapshot of June's Community Playdate with Death™

Image shows three pottery vessels, possibly urns, with brightly colored polka dots. Photo by Andreas Fickl on Unsplash

After a beloved pet or a loved one has died, would you want to have their ashes solidified into stones as a keepsake?

Parting Stones does just that, and it was one of the options for how to care for a body after death that we explored in the June Community Playdate with Death.™ Parting Stones takes the cremated ashes of your loved one or your pet and turns them into stones. As the website reads, “Solidified remains let you hold your loved one close again. No more uncomfortable ash.”

As a child of the 70s, I come from an era where “Pet Rocks” were a thing, but they were rocks that you cared for as a pet rather than a pet that was crafted into a rock. I’m not sure how I feel about either pet rocks or parting stones. After our June community playdate, I decided to talk about it with my kids.

Image: Pile of approximately 25 white stones of various shapes from Parting Stones

When it’s dinner time, my kids know the drill. We check-in by naming something we’re thankful for, a “win” for the day, and something we wish we could “do-over.” (Thank you to the fabulous Kim Wade @ Inner Gaze Yoga for this idea!) We practice gratitude, celebrate our successes, and normalize failing forward. No shame or judgement. Just a little self-reflection. When someone can’t think of a “do-over,” that’s not a win. Instead, we ask: “Where could I have been more courageous today?”

My kids also have come to expect that I will probably bring up something weird. This time, it was parting stones. Parting stones aren’t weird, but my kids tell me that talking about death is.

I keep dinner weird.

For context, we are a family of rock carriers. We pick them up. We carry them around. I find them in backpacks and in the washing machine. Rocks are in my toolkit when I lead workshops. I leave my kids “mom rocks” when I travel. I empty my pockets when they weigh me for my cancer-remission check-ins so they get my weight - without the rocks. Rocks are treasures for us.

It was a genuine question when I asked them what they thought about having someone’s ashes or a pet’s ashes turned into “stones” as a keepsake. They asked what people do with ashes. Of course, there was some potty humor (yes, the WHOLE body is cremated) and hilarious hyperbole about what could happen while spreading ashes… There was also a thoughtful chat about whether “parting stones” would be healing after someone or a pet has died. The consensus at our dinner table was a solid… maybe.

Our June Community Playdate was like this dinner chat - minus the potty humor. What do you think Playdates with Death™ community? After a beloved pet or a loved one has died, would you want to have their ashes solidified into stones as a keepsake?

At our next community playdate, Saturday, July 6th @ 10-11am CST (free, online), we’ll be dreaming up end of life celebrations. Let’s plan a grand send off! RSVP below.